The Paradox of Parenting: How Kids Steal Your Time and Give You Perspective

Having kids is a funny thing. On one hand, they eat up every ounce of time you think you have. It’s the easiest excuse in the world—“I didn’t get this done because the kids kept me busy.” And to be honest, it’s not even a bad excuse, because it’s true.

But just like anything else in life, parenting has two sides. If you only look at the side that drains you, you’ll never get anywhere. The trick is finding the positive.

For me, I’ve noticed two big things that stand out.

1. Kids Force Me to Be Strategic With Time

I didn’t realize this until my kids went away to summer camp. Suddenly, I had all this free time. My first thought was, “Finally! I’ll use this time to dive into my projects and catch up on everything I’ve been putting off.”

But that’s not what happened. Instead, I found myself watching movies. Doing random stuff. Basically, wasting the time I thought I needed so badly.

It hit me: it’s not the kids that stop me from working long hours. It’s me. Humans just aren’t built to grind endlessly. If it’s not kids eating my time, it’ll be something else. The only difference is how I feel afterward.

With kids around, I may not have unlimited time, but my days feel full. Without them, I had all the time in the world and ended up feeling empty. That was a wake-up call.

2. Kids Change the Way I Make Decisions

Making decisions is hard. There are always too many angles, and it’s easy to overcomplicate things.

What I’ve started doing is asking myself one simple question: “What do I want my kids to be like when they grow up?”

Do I want them to be disciplined? Curious? Resilient? Skilled in certain areas?

Once I answer that, I try to live it out myself. Because they shouldn’t carry the weight of my unfinished dreams—that’s my job. If I want them to read, I should be reading. If I want them to be disciplined, I should practice discipline. It’s not about telling them what to do, but showing them.

Wrapping It Up

So yeah—having kids takes your time, no question. But it also gives you a perspective you can’t get any other way. They make you treat time with more intention, and they give you a simple filter for making decisions that actually matter.

In a way, parenting doesn’t just shape your kids. It reshapes you.